I really miss this blog. I've been spending so much time on my other blog and my other "hobby" (I sometimes refer to our faith as a hobby because there's always so much to learn, so many crafty things to do). But as much as I love playing with dolls, and as much as it satisfies my inner artist, my soul has been lacking.
My focus has not been my children, it's been stealing moments wherever I can to work on my doll crafts. It becomes a real obsession.
A lot of bad stuff has been happening on our lives. We were robbed, had to take my daughter to the emergency room. We keep breaking important things. There's just some stagnant energy around (we're about to have a yard sale, so there's loads of junk waiting to be liberated). This always leads me to my very Catholic "what have I done to anger You?!"
More than that I feel it around me. My husband's unhappy, my children are bored. Okay the toddler is bored, the baby is just fine! My friends are behaving weirdly.
When people discuss how much they miss their pre-children life, I never understood it. I figured they were just bad mothers. But I get it now! It's not that I really miss being single and childless. These folks are my world! But I do miss being able to work with tiny objects or use some glue without a little one snatching it to pour on her head or something.
What I do think is contributing to this feeling is: 1. my IUD with hormones. I am crazy cranky right now! 2. a more public life. On the internet that is. With my doll blog I was in a new world. It's not like the pagan blog world. You guys are warm and loving and supportive. The doll world pretends it is, but it's much more competitive and sometimes just mean!
Facebook has changed a lot of things. For instance, now I can talk to my friends more often but that opens you up to things like "Why didn't she comment on my new baby?" It's like it's come up with new ways to make you feel like an insane teenager. "You didn't 'Like' my status! I'm unfriending you!"
My mom and I just started a doll bedding business so I can't put the doll world on hold right now, but I need to manage my priorities! How can I teach my girls to be Goddess worshippers when they only see me talk to her before a meal?
Just venting I guess, but I need to shake things up!!
