First, allow my venting:
Four years of working at this current job is just about enough. I've had it. I was given my choice of two jobs. I chose one, the better paying one and 4 years later I'm still doing both the jobs I was offered. And then told both are actually my responsibility. Swindled!
I was told I couldn't do flex time (without someone to fill the non existent 2nd job) and that wanting to spend more time with my family was not a good enough reason. I was told I couldn't work the 7:30-4:30 (rather than 8-5) schedule of my predecessor because there was not this non existent 2nd person.
Now, with the first baby I didn't sign up for Short Term Disability during the enrollment period at the end of the year. By the time the end of the year came around, I was already pregnant (pre-existing condition because baby-making is an illnesses apparently). So my three months off (allowable by law) was unpaid. We saved a lot, cashed in vacation days, but it was scary at the end.
In a related matter, Iris now goes to bed at 7 so I have one hour with her every day.
So anyway, next time, I wised up, signed up for STD (that's a lovely acronym) and got pregnant. I asked about it yesterday to find out exactly what I'm getting and how. My hr rep told me I can expect that 60% of my salary 15 days after birth and only until the doc releases me at about 6 weeks. So I can really expect 4 weeks of this support.
That did it. After sobbing insanely for a while (I'm pregnant, you know) I've decided this is it. I'm done.
I'm going to be a stay at home mom.
But I'm terrified. I'm willingly thrusting my family into poverty? We'll have enough in savings to live as we've grown accustomed for maybe 6 months.
I'm doing this for the kids, to give them time with their mom, to give them structured lessons. I'm doing it for my husband. So he's not the housekeeper, cook, babyminder all day every day. It's not as natural for men, call me old fashioned. I'm doing this for me, so my soul won't be entirely sucked out by doing what I'm told all day with no creativity or life or joy.
It's gonna be tough guys. I definitely want to look at work at home options, part time jobs, especially in daycare, where I have experience and maybe the kids could attend for free or cheap.
I'm going to budget and be a deal finder. I'm going to grow some vegetables out here even if we are renting.
But I'm scared. And I'm sad for my husband. He grew up poor. As soon as he was an adult, he made sure he always lived well. And I know more than anything he wants to never been poor again. But this move pretty much guarantees he will.
I can feel the Goddess's presence behind this decision. I know She supports me.
So with Her, I'm going to do this and be successful. We will not be poor. We will be thrifty but new opportunities will open for us. And we will buy a house. Maybe not tomorrow but we will have a house before our kids are in middle school. Deal? Deal.
Think of what I'll be saving. Overpriced health insurance, work clothes, frozen lunches, starbucks, public transportation. Oh my god, you know I have not dressed like who I am for years? I can finally have purple hair. Okay, maybe that me has passed.
Thanks guys, I needed that. I feel much better already. Maybe this decision will also revitalize this blog! If I have any time left. I'm excited about working in the earth and letting Iris run around outside all day. I'm excited about the kitchen being my domain again.
Now to think up some spellwork to help us on this journey.
More later!
Blessings,
Danielle
5 comments:
I feel for you hun. Ive been in ur shoes, actually im still there truth be told. but ya now what the goddess provides. You may not have all the luxuries you had before but so long as you have food and a roof over your head you can be happy. Spend time with your kids and family this is a time to chill out and re assess your life. Just know she's always watching:)
Thanks Spiritrunner! I'm still not sure how all this is going to work but I'm going to wait until I'm on maternity leave to look for jobs and have my husband look for work. I know with Her help, I can totally do this!
I'm sorry for all this stress in your lie, Dani! And I know exctly how it is too!
Believe me, you'll all survive adn live well. It may be hard in the begining, but you'll be okay.
Goddess bless you!
Take care, chin up and go ahead!
Kisses and much love from us.
Becoming a SAHM was a very tough decision for me and my family as well. Not knowing if we can make ends meet and whether or not I had the patience for it. I was laid off back in 2008 and looked for work as much as I could. The workforce chose me being a SAHM more than we did. No one would hire me because I was "over qualified". Now two years later, I am still a SAHM and its now my "job". It will be tough at first, but you can do it! The power of the Goddess is within you to embrace your new path as a Stay at Home Mom and you will love watching your children reach all of their milestones because you are there with them opposed to a paid caregiver writing you a note that they walked today, or a tooth is begining to cut, or their first words. These milestones I missed with my first child because I worked but not with my second son. It is very rewarding. I too had to loose my Cariboo Coffee fix in the morning, but have learned other ways to enjoying a good cup of coffee that I learned to make myself.
Good luck to you and your family. It brought my family closer together than we were two years ago!
Thanks so much for your kind words today Crystal. My daughter is sick right now and I nearly cried leaving for work. I know she will wake up and want some Mommy cuddles. Just going to keep the goal in mind and not get down about it. This will work out.
I was about to be in a position that would make this move impossible. But the Goddess worked it out.
And I thought I had posted a comment about it, but it seems to have disappeared! Thanks Great Mama! (and all us lesser mamas who love Her!)
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